Hey Relationship Gurus, 1982 Called, They Want Their Clichés Back

Why ‘Men Are Visual, Women Are Emotional’ Is the Dumbest Take Still Alive

If I see one more self-proclaimed Dr. Phil wannabe on Instagram acting like they’ve cracked the code to relationships with the most “groundbreaking” advice, I might lose it.

It always boils down to the same tired cliché:

“Men are visual. Women are emotional.”

That’s the entire revelation. That’s the clip. That’s the course.

Groundbreaking. Revolutionary. Never heard that one before. 🙄

Why It’s Harmful to Both

This cookie-cutter script does more damage than it helps.

For men, it reduces us down to nothing more than fuck machines.

As if the only thing ever running through our heads is “sex, sex, sex.”

No depth, no nuance, no need for emotional connection.

Just drop the pants and go.

For women, it assumes they can’t be feral, lustful, or dripping wet at the mere sight of their partner.

Let's go one step further. Think about gay married men who’ve been together for decades. Are you reducing their bond down to visuals and fucking 24/7? No emotional intimacy? No depth?

That’s absurd. Of course not.

Real love, in any pairing, demands far more than that.

Humans are nuanced. Desire is layered. To pretend otherwise insults everyone.

My Cancer Mars Perspective

Now, here’s where astrology helps make sense of this.

From what I’ve learned (and my wife confirms), my Mars in Cancer is textbook in a lot of ways.

Emotional safety comes first for me.

If we’ve had an emotionally draining argument, I’m likely not going to be instantly ready for makeup sex. I need that emotional intimacy restored before the physical intimacy flows.

I’ll also add that I’m not denying that I have what I consider a very high libido.

That’s just the truth.

But don’t mistake a high libido for mindless, anytime-anywhere sex. It still needs that emotional safety.

& trust me, a high libido is not just a “guy thing.” My wife has met me blow-for-blow in that department and honestly, she might even outdo me.

So yeah, the drive is high, but the conditions for intimacy still matter.

I know I’m not alone in this. I’ve spoken to a friend of ours, also a Cancer Mars, but a woman, and she said the same thing.

For us, emotional connection isn’t separate from sexual connection. It’s the foundation.

Meanwhile, Her 8th House Mars…

On the other hand, I’m married to a woman with Mars in the 8th house, trine Jupiter.

Translation being, we could have just had one of the worst arguments of our relationship, and she’ll still want to jump my bones.

Or I’ll be sitting at my desk trying to get some work done, and suddenly she’s touching herself next to me because just looking at me does it for her.

I don’t say this to brag.

I say it because it proves the point: different placements = different wiring.

Emotional connection and visual desire can exist in different balances for different people, and both can be valid.

The Real “Revolutionary” Take

At the end of the day, in most healthy relationships, it’s a mix.

Both of us get wildly turned on by the sight of each other. Both of us also deeply value emotional intimacy.

That balance is what makes sex not just good, but unforgettable.

So here’s my suggestion for the cookie-cutter gurus who keep regurgitating 1982:

If you actually want to be revolutionary, maybe make a course on Mars signs.

Or better yet, just accept that humans are nuanced, across genders, and you can’t flatten billions of people into two neat little boxes.

Because again, it’s probably always going to be a blend of both visual desire and emotional connection for both partners.

& that’s what makes it real. ❤️‍🔥